Sunday, July 25, 2010
I used to blog, a lot, and I'll admit I made some amazing friends through my blog. I miss taking the time to write everything down and get it out of my head, but finding the time is a bit tricky. As much as I wrote from the heart before, I don't think I will link this blog to that one. Instead I will start fresh because I am in a new season of my life and it really just seems right.
I have been attending a new church since just after Easter and the renewal it has brought to my life has been amazing. I can't think of a single week that has gone by when the message didn't bring me to tears. I mean it. I cry every week, the messages just resonate that deeply with me. Which seems odd, since all to often I think our society gets louder and more demanding to drown out the sound of God's Truths being whispered into our hearts. I love at night, when I am laying in my bed, and I've forgotten to turn my sound machine on. Now, I live in a condo with other units on 3 of the 5 possible sides so I sleep better with it on. I will eventually get up and turn it on, but for those moments before I do there is stillness I enjoy. In that quiet space I hear the beat of my heart so loudly. In the chaos of the day I never notice it but it's there, drumming away inside of me. Unless I stop to focus and really listen for it, I won't hear the steady thump and whoosh of blood moving inside me. I think that's a reason Psalm 46:10 tells us to "Be still", "Cease striving" or "Let go of your concerns" depending on which translation you're reading. I honestly feel it is because when we are busy, striving and stressing we can only hear the noise that fills our days and the chaos of our own thoughts. When we are rushing through our lives we miss the quiet moments that reveal God's wonder and beauty in the world around us.
My hope for this new season is that I will make (and more importantly take) the time to slow down, unplug from all my digital distractions and just be still. That I really seek out the moments where grace and mercy are made apparent. I desire deeply, to be still so the words God whispers into me sound as loud as the beat of my heart in the stillness of night. I hope that I am able to quit striving so that I may know God on an ever deeper level.